I have a damaged brain, can't seem to remember much about 2009, except the fact that it took all my self-esteem and confidence away from me.

I went to a new school and got new friends, both good and bad. Drifted apart from all my old friends and got super close with classmates, but eventually feel detached again.

I hate the year ok, i don't even wanna talk about it. Sometimes i feel so jealous when people have a secret crush on somebody, at least they had someone in their heart. I held an empty one for the whole year, no one for me to love, no one to hurt me. I have no one, no one to talk to me when i'm sad, no one who needs me to comfort, no one to call me just coz they were bored.

But on the other hand, it's good. At least no one could make my heart break, no one could make me think of them all the time, and i won't have to pretend that i'm happy just for somebody. I can become a fat elephant for all i want, i can be self-centered, and i can just ignore everyone. It's just me, though lonely.. but it's enough.

2009 gave me chances to realise how it's like to be alone, to be empty, to be without anyone. But i've learnt how to accept it. So in 2010, i'm not going to wish for anything, and i'm not afraid of being alone, since i've already tasted the feeling of losing everyone i once had. So come what may, I shall led a happening and spontaneous life.

I'm a lonely bitch, with a hole in my chest like my heart isn't even there, but i could deal with it.