xoxo

2010-09-17T19:11:00.000+08:00

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

Hello i'm back

2010-09-09T19:19:00.002+08:00

The blogging mood somehow got on me and i have no idea if it's gonna be long.

It's september! Time flies SO FAST in year 2, it's really a entirely different thing from being in year 1. I still remember having the time of my life last year, which pretty much explains the extra stress that i got this year. Yknow, what with all the catching up with the studies AND learning new stuffs. I barely even get to know all my new classmates and soon we're gonna sit for promo2.

LIKE CRAZY. I can't believe i'm so near to A-levels, just a year and a few months more.

William shakespeare

2010-07-19T20:24:00.003+08:00

When i got enough confident,

the stage was gone.

When i was sure of losing,

i won.

When i needed people the most,

they left me.

When i learnt to dry my tears,

i found a shoulder to cry on.

When i mastered the skill of hating,

somebody started to love me.

When after waiting for dawn, i fell asleep,

the sun came out.

"That's life"

2010-07-17T23:50:00.000+08:00

"Sometimes when I look at you, I feel I’m gazing at a distant star. It’s dazzling, but the light is from tens of thousands of years ago. Maybe the star doesn’t even exist any more. Yet sometimes that light seems more real to me than anything."

— Haruki Murakami

2010-07-15T20:58:00.003+08:00

No matter how much i need you, i would let you go if you don't need me as much, or more, in your life. Because i don't deserve you, i deserve better.

2010-07-12T00:30:00.002+08:00

Hi school ;)

2010-07-10T14:08:00.003+08:00

"By setting a person free, you run a risk of him not returning. But always remember that you found him beautiful precisely because he was free. People are like sunlight. You can feel their warmth, and their glow, but you can’t hold them in your hand and keep them with you forever. People choose to stay. But a choice is made more meaningful when it is made despite so many other options."

Hmm, i shall be good and contented. To all my friends, i love each and everyone of you, no matter where you are. You may not be in my life now, but you never left my heart ;)

2010-07-09T01:06:00.005+08:00

I can't seem to let go of my past, and all those things that are lost, altered or damaged. Sometimes i look back at all my broken friendships and wonder if it's me. Is it because i haven't been doing or saying the right things, or i just make people back away. Maybe all along, to everyone else i'm only that person who's with them through their happiness. That i can't be a listener, or i don't prove myself good enough to stand by my friends when they're down.

I hate how i always make myself feel this way, it's like each time my mind cannot stop blaming myself for everything bad that happened in my life. That i should take responsibility. That i shouldn't wish for a listener, since i can't be one myself. That i shouldn't even make new friends. I'm just fated to be alone and be friends with myself.

We used to be a puzzle where we could sit by side by side to become a full picture, but now it seems like i'm the only broken piece that doesn't have a proper place to fit in. I used to believe it's because people change, but they don't. All of us just grew up, seen more things, and became ourselves. Hate to admit it, but i realize i don't have a space in all your lives anymore.

You won't know, but i'm utterly hurt. Just because you don't see it doesn't mean it isn't there, i'm damaged inside of me. To me you were my true friend all along. I don't know how much i used to stand in your heart, but you were important to me. Maybe this is why i keep dwelling on the past, because i didn't want to lose something so precious. But i feel stupid because all along i'm the only one who wanted the friendship back.

There's no point still having hopes when i'm the only one trying. If you're living happier now because i'm no longer your friend, good for you. If you're already pretending that i never existed, even better. I don't want to exist anymore either.

I desperately want a pat on my back and someone telling me that i'm still worth something. But even i'm not willing to say that to myself. Perhaps because i really ain't worth anything to anybody.

Ugh, let me wallow in pain and die. Bye.

2010-07-07T00:43:00.004+08:00

There's something about you that's like the sun

You warm up my heart when I come undone

You're like my soul mate
And on those days,
When I hurt
When I break
You are my band aid ♥

2010-06-27T20:51:00.002+08:00

~~pangsai~~ promos starting tomorrow, fmlalalallalalalala

2010-06-23T12:56:00.001+08:00

I think i must admit, i feel lucky i got promoted last year if not i would've go on mistaking you as a noob type who studies all day. I got it half right. Thank you for promoting, because without you in class i think i would've really hated school. And yes please continue to not disturb me while i sleep through classes, but please you better teach me afterwards!

I love you!

Happy birthday (drunk girl) ♥

2010-06-22T23:34:00.002+08:00

All alone in the room at night, listening to my favourite tunes with everyone else asleep. It's not exactly peaceful. I can hear my sister's sneeze seconds ago, i hear my fan, i hear the music. But my heart is quiet. It's so lonely i can break into tears.

At days like tonight, days when i battle with my sleepy nerves and procrastination, I used to have my sister, either there battling with me or just being a company for me. And no matter how difficult it seems, i never wanted to cry a single tear because she's there, and i'm not alone.

She's now overseas, i feel selfish.

& i'm crying.

Heroes

2010-06-21T16:07:00.004+08:00

I must have saved a country in my past life, to deserve such a sister.

No wait, i saved two countries, for i have two wonderful sisters. Two kingdoms, for my awesome parents. And of course, two cities for my two wonderful pets.. Sweet.

I love my life. Because compared to those who didn't had siblings for them to fight with, parents to guide them through their life via the harsh way and pets to accompany them through moments when they feel lonely, i am so much more blessed in each and every way. So much more lucky that we're been fated to be a family, and have been together since.

I don't have to be rich, because what's better? To cry in a ferrari, or spend everyday with bundles of joy and a wonderful family in a straw hut? I choose the latter.

So laugh at me, laugh for all you want. Laugh that you have the ability to have whatever you want while i need to save half my life for a single item. Call me foolish, but the satisfaction i get when i finally lay my hands on my favourite item, is so much more better than you having yours within split seconds.

There's no need for me to feel inferior because if you would minus out the material items and look closely in both our lives, i actually have more than you. So much more.

2010-06-15T23:37:00.003+08:00

I see that you're happy without me. It kinda sucks, but i'm glad you did. It shows how i fail at being a friend that someone will miss having when something bad happens. I hate how we have became now. I wished we would be back to the past, but it won't happen so i'm hoping i would be able to get myself out of your life entirely, i'm hoping i would soon have that courage to.

Because it sucks, i dislike the fact that i know what's going on with your life yet i'm not even a percentage of it. It might be a good idea for our friendship to just fade into the background as time goes by. And till then onwards i shall put whatever memories of us into that small part of my mind, which i would occasionally take it out to reminisce. I hate this idea, but i see that it'll be for the best of us, for you and me.

And this will be the last time i cry because of this.

Cute boys are cooler than cool boys.

2010-06-12T20:26:00.003+08:00

Yay!!!!!!! (L)(L)(L)

I'm left with two weeks of holidays before promos and i haven't done anything yet. I don't even know where my books are. DIE. The past week, other than going to school on somedays, most of it i spend being at home spamming kdrama!!! Wheeee~ now no matter where i go i keep hearing people speak korean even though it's chinese/english. I'm crazy, confirm. Even the talking dog and cat on hk dramas sound like they're speaking korean to each other.

I wanna go crazy already, korean boys are SO cute!!

Ok chalet tomorrow!!! Gna spend the first night w trish, lis and pammy!! Yay my favourite girls <333333

I'm so happppyyyyyyyyyy nowwww i can fly!! OK BAI!

Happy Birthday!

2010-06-08T22:36:00.002+08:00

I miss the times, i miss everything about us. Our trips to the arcade before higher chinese class, calling each other by our chinese names, JASHLY/JASYIL, our countless neoprints, going to cca and getting promoted at the same time always, taking the same squad, long chats. I love being crazy with you, those times we look at each other and immediately know what the other person is thinking. How, when we hear a good news, we would stare at each other for 2 seconds before jumping and screaming happily. I love you for not forgetting me no matter what.

We went through SO much, i wished i had kept a diary about them. Although we're not as close as before, i'm always here for you to fall back on no matter what. I can't believe i'm crying :'(

I love you ever since primary 5, and i'll never stop ;)

Happy birthday ♥

2010-06-07T01:26:00.002+08:00

One week of holidays just flashed pass my eyes, it feels so fast that i can hardly get used to it. It would be nice for time to stop at this moment. I like what i have, i don't want to ever lose them. I cannot imagine life without school. You know what i mean? Like, you're very close with your schoolmates because you have to see them 5 times(or perhaps more) per week and there's no need for planning. For your friends in other school, you won't even bother unless it's your best friends. But sometimes even best friends don't have time for you.

Seriously, we all have those friends whom you can only see in school. When it's time to graduate, it's like your friendship goes away with it. Who ever plans class outing after we left school, how many actually attend if there were such outings?

I've had my fair share of growing apart with people i never ever wanted to, had enough of promising to stay in contact but didn't. We all have new friends, and we're naturally more attached to them. Not because they are better, but because we're so blinded by the fun we have with our new friends, we forgot those memories we have with our old ones. No one's to blame, this is life. Our life.

There's a reason why they say you only know who your best friends really are after you graduate. To me they're like gems, so rare and imitations are everywhere.

I could really use a wish right now

2010-06-06T21:27:00.001+08:00

I shall be back to blogging <3

2010-05-05T23:14:00.001+08:00

It's like i have no time for this place but i don't wanna close it :'(

2010-04-21T17:28:00.003+08:00

I'm retarded and bored so i took this from adeline's blog (here)

001. i miss somebody right now.
002. i watch more tv than i used to.
003. i love olives.
004. i love sleeping.
005. i own lots of books.
006. i wear glasses or contact lenses.
007. i love to play video games.
008. i’ve watched porn movies.
010. i have been in a threesome.
011. i have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
012. i believe honesty is the best policy.
013. i have acne free skin. No acne, got pimple LOL!
014. i like and respect al sharpton.
015. i curse frequently.
016. i’ve changed a lot mentally over the last year.
017. i have a hobby. but i don’t make it as often as i can anymore.
018. i’ve been told i have a nice butt.
019. i carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
020. i’m really, really smart.(HAHAHAHAHA)
021. i’ve never broken anyone else’s bones.
022.i have a secret that i am ashamed to reveal.
023. i love rain.
024. i’m paranoid at times.
025. i would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
026. i need money right now.
027. i love sushi
028. i talk really, really fast sometimes.
029. i have fresh breath in the morning.
030. i have semi-long hair.
032. i have at least one brother and/or sister.
033. i was born in a country outside of the u.s.
034. i shave my legs.
035. i have a twin.
037. i couldn’t survive without caller i.d.
038. i like the way that i look.
039. i have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.
041. i am usually pessimistic.
042. i have mood swings.
043. i think prostitution should be legalized.
044. i think britney spears is pretty.
045. i have cheated on a significant other.
046. i have a hidden talent.(HAHAHA again)
047. i’m always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.
048. i think that i’m popular.
049. i am currently single.
050. i have kissed someone of the same sex.
051. i enjoy talking on the phone.
052. i practically live in sweatpants or pj pants.
053. i love to shop.
054. i would rather shop than eat.
055. i would classify myself as ghetto.
056. i’m bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
057. i’m obsessed with my blog!
058. i don’t hate anyone.
059. i’m a pretty good dancer.
060. i’m a horrible dancer.
061. i’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
062. i have a cell phone.
063. i watch much music on a daily basis.
064. i have cried myself to sleep before.
065. i have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
067. i have never been in a real relationship before.
068. i’ve rejected someone before.
069. i currently have a crush on someone.
070. i have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.
071. i want to have children in the future.
072. i have changed a diaper before.
073. i’ve had the cops called on me before.
074. i bite my nails.
076. i’m not allergic to anything deadly.
077. i have a lot to learn.
078. i have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.
080. i am very shy around the opposite sex.
081. i’m online 24/7, even as an away message.
082. i have at least 5 away messages saved.
083. i have tried alcohol before.
084. i have made a move on a friend’s significant other in the past.
085. i own the “south park” movie.
088. i enjoy country music.
089. i love my best friend(s).
090. i think that pizza hut has the best pizza.
091. i watch soap operas whenever i can.
092. i’m obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
096. halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
097. i watch spongebob squarepants and i like it.
098. i have dated a close friend’s ex.
099. i’m happy as of this moment.
100. i have gone scuba diving.
102. i’ve kissed someone i knew i shouldn’t.
101. i’ve had a crush on someone i’ve never met.
103. i play a musical instrument.(used to HAHAHA)
104. i strongly dislike math.
105. i’m procrastinating on something right now.
106. i own and use a library card.
107. i fall in “lust” more than in “love”.
108. cheese enchiladas rock my socks.
109. i think the lord of the rings is one of the greatest things ever.
110. i’m obsessed with the tv show “lost.”
111. i am resentful that i have to grow up.
112. i am an entirely different person around different people.
113. i think the world would be a better place if people just smiled and meant it more often.
114. i think ramen is the best kind of food in the whole world.
115. i am suffering of a broken heart.
116. i am a nerd.(HAHAHA)
117. no matter where i am or who i’m with, i always seem to be lonely.
118. i am left handed and proud of it.
119. i don’t change who i am for someone else.
120. my heart resides below my feet.
121. i am a senior in school.
122. i enjoy smoothies.
123. i have gastritis.
124. i have nothing better to do with my time.
125. i am listening to radiohead right now.
126. most people call me by my middle name.
127. i once stole a music stand.
129. i love nascar!
130. i own over 200 cds.
131. i work 7 days a week.
132. i have mono.
132. i don’t have the ability to make decisions without changing my mind.
133. people tell me i have a horrible sense of humor.
134. i’m only wearing underwear.
136. i’ve driven to a different state to see a band i liked.
137. i am the most over analytical person i know.
138. i believe in wasting time.
139. i don’t listen to too much music.
141. my favorite holiday isn’t christmas.
142. i prefer weeks off of work instead of days here and there.
143. i love sex.
144. i wanna go home.
145. i don’t know what i would do without my friends.
146. christmas threw up in my dorm room and i love it.
147. friends is (one of) my favorite tv shows.
148. i’m hungry.
149. i’m still angry about the nip/tuck season 2 finale cliffhanger.
150. i’m a potterhead and proud of it!
151. i noticed there are several numbers missing from this list, making this very much not the 151st entry.
152. i lied about one of the items on this list.
153. my siblings are my best friends.
155. i have a problem expressing things.
156. i have lost a parent.
157. i am the most deprived person i know on the face of the planet.
158. i have at least one test tomorrow that i am not prepared for yet.
159. i love slim jims! even if they are really bad for you.
160. i am sick and tired of school so i am not going.
161. i love sundance.
162. i do not watch television.
163. i love starbucks coffee drinks.
164. i am living at least one lie right now.
168. i’m a little crazy.
169. i like the smell of white tic tacs.
170. i know at least one person in a “life or death” crisis at this moment.
172. i always know all the gossip at my school/workplace/whatever, and nobody ever suspects it.
173.i have thought about suicide.
175. i can be selfish.
176. i’m so emo at times.
177. i can solve a 3x3 rubik’s cube.(used to HAHAHA)
179. i cheated on a test before.
181. i’m sick of drama
182. i need a job

I love my life right now. I don't care whether people has forgotten me or not, i don't care whether they think i'm worth it or not. I love my life and i always will.

2010-04-05T00:06:00.002+08:00

I really hate it when my friends know new friends.. it's like i'll be forgotten once they do. Am i really so insignificant that my only true friends are the ones who doesn't have chance to meet other people? It's making me feel like a loser, i don't wanna have friends anymore.

2010-04-02T22:48:00.000+08:00

"At some point you will realize that you have done too much for someone or something, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. Leave them alone. Walk away. It’s not like you’re giving up, and it’s not like you shouldn’t try. It’s just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation. What is truly yours would eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be."

2010-03-31T22:00:00.006+08:00

Things i have done:
1) understand poa
2) landed on two legs for the 1st time for broad jump training
3) be honest with how i felt with my friends
4) gained new good friends
5) l4d2
6) cut down on drinking
7) crush on someone i see every morning
8) loving sj-m
9) spent too much money
10) realise i need new clothes

today i bought a rose for charity and put it onto my hair.. i think i look really retarded.

l4d2 tmw after CIP, i've been doing too much good lately :>>>>>>

I know i'm going to be okay

2010-03-28T22:04:00.004+08:00

1) I was part of it, a piece of everyone's life. I see at least one of them almost every single day, even if i had school, even if it means i have to ditch my schoolmates. It was worth it, even if i had to reach home late and get thrashed by the mother. Even if i have to neglect my studies.

2) I was unhappy, and i don't know why. I see them and i laugh. But each time i reach home, i get even more depressed and i sat down thinking i shouldn't have even went.

3) I felt that i was different, not that i was smarter. Our time schedules were not the same, no i mean, MY time schedule is not the same as theirs. It just makes it even harder for me to join them anymore.

4) Schoolwork is stressing me out, i hardly even had time for myself.

5) One time, i couldn't join them because i had school.. And then came the 2nd time. So each time i log into twitter, my mind goes like "wtf i'm here studying my ass off and there they are there having the time of their life, perhaps already accepting the fact that i'm not there and it won't make any difference at all"

6) Then i realised it's true, i really don't make any difference.

So i've come to accept the fact. It's always them, i was never part of it. I've seen myself there but i just don't fit into the picture and that didn't stop me from trying to be. Some things aren't meant to work out. I'm just not meant to be there.

B&J free cone day!!

2010-03-23T23:08:00.005+08:00

Finally after a long time of complaining i get to celebrate the occasion!! Okay la we're just very kiasu. Switch from bus to train to bus and then to bus (again!!) to zoo just for the free cone!! Super went all out to be cheapo bitches right hahahahha.

and obviously i still expected a long queue since we're all cheapo people (that including the nursery kids.. cultivating the aunty spirit from young hahahha)

Tada!! Got to enjoy the newest favour that just came out TODAY, which totally top my fav. list and pwn phish food.. okay la maybe being free makes it additionally yums hahahah. So many people were talking about us as if we can't hear it.. only the staff was polite enough to ask "CJC or MI?" obviously CJ la do i look so stupid to you.

ok kidding! dine + shopping @ yishun before heading home.. lovesss la!!

what's your favourite film

2010-03-22T00:50:00.002+08:00

School tmw but i've not done any of my assignment.. good game me. Now i have to remove my nail polish and prepare to fail any grooming check (if there is) tmw but who cares my class's going gardenia which means skip lesson which means party time!! Grant us an early dismissal and i'll grant myself l4d2 hehehehe. Enjoy school kids!

2010-03-18T13:23:00.002+08:00

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep… wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you…. The one who turns to his friends and says, ‘that’s her'.

Sounds like Edward Cullen hahahaha.

I think i forgot to say..

2010-03-16T13:15:00.002+08:00

It's holidayzzzzz!!!

and i hve jap curry for lunch and tom yum soup (again!!) for dinner tonight, my mum is the greatest cook in the world and life can't get any better.

2010-03-15T20:46:00.003+08:00

I really don't know what's wrong with me, no matter what i do i still feel like i'm lacking something as long as you're not here with me. But when you're finally here i don't seem to want you anymore. I really thought you'll be the last person to let me feel so left out but i guess you have your own life to lead, and i should get one for myself too.

It's not easy, it never was.

Happy

2010-03-10T21:05:00.002+08:00

I decided i'm gna work rlyyyy hard for my math because tdy my teacher told me he has very high hopes on me(although i got like C for ct hahaha) and kept encouraging me whn i told him i won't be able to get a distinction for my As. Must love math must love math must love math.

Anyway met up with rachel at cwp aft school, totally made me think of the past when we always go out tgt unlike now.. i know right, sigh. Whn her school starts everything will be even worse so for now i'm gna keep disturbing her till she's sick of me ahahahhaa.

SUPER excited for friday!! Team building day at sentosa + overnight mj/drinking at my house. Oh and did i say zircon totally own everyone in sports fiesta? Killer beez ftw yayyyyyy we wear yellow and we are proud of it :):):)

Okay la kinda sad cos i jst realize i hve very little friends, but oh well! Quality not quantity!

2010-03-09T19:38:00.002+08:00

I am really super tired plus the major crying(go watch 1 litre of tears!!) just now is making my eyes damn swollen :'( now i'm so tempted to lie on my bed and sleepppppppppppp but i'm not gna do it cos i have strong mental power yay! I will complete all my assignments tonight so i won't hve to rush it through tmw and pass up rubbish work.

And although i kept complaining about being a MI student, i've nvr once regreted. Because i know it's all worth it, i will reap all my efforts in the future. If i can choose all over agn, i will still choose what i'm doing now even if i alr knew beforehand what's gna come my way. I guess the process isn't impt, if i'm able to end up at the destination that i want to, thn all these is worth it. Totally worth it. And to everyone who say that MI people can't make it, watch me.

Because i know it's right. I know i'm on the right path.

1st march

2010-03-08T19:00:00.004+08:00

Me and trish's birthday celebration, hahahahha very happy with everything except for the surprise they gave me because while i freaking thought i was seeing a ghost and the best thing is they video everything i did. FML. Anyway had dtf for dinner (xlb xlb!!) and then a (failure) surprise cake cos lis was taking too long to buy and ended up having cream war in the MRT. Thank you for everything girlzzzzz <3<3

Anyway got back my CT results, only met target for my math the rest can box themselves and don't ask me how i score because i think i will cry. Results for As MT is fml i got distinction for oral and overall B. Lousy pok, yea go on saying i'm complacent. You'll never understand how it feels to get B for your Alevel when you've always been getting distinctions since young. I can't retake and neither do i think i am going to, gna focus on math and get A. I must become a mugger, best if i become a closet mugger HAHAHA.

Gna take my 2.4, S&R and SBJ(fml) tomorrow. I don't even know if i cn pass SBJ or not. Grrrrrr so angry with people who says it's easy.

hehehe and finally i'm blogging normally agn :):):)

2010-03-07T20:31:00.003+08:00

♥

2010-03-04T22:07:00.003+08:00

Mr Andrew: "Somebody is so laid back all she needs is a glass of martini to make her day"

Ya right! Bring me my martini sumbardy~

Bluffday

2010-03-02T22:48:00.002+08:00

Hi wonderful girl happy 18th!! 5 years and still counting on, i think when we're old we will sit @ the elderly corner still insulting each other. I love you!!

2010-02-24T00:24:00.002+08:00

Yea i know, you're filthy rich. You always get the things you want and have the capability to be arrogant, so be happy about it. Quit telling me how fortunate you are because at the end of the day, i won't give a shit about it. You know why? Because it's not you who earned those big bucks. I'm jealous of your parents, that's the difference.

Maybe you really need the attention so here you go, a whole post dedicated to you.

I have stupid dogs

2010-02-21T23:43:00.002+08:00

While playing with my sister, bb step right into their drinking bowl and spill water all over. Then pp went to step on the puddle, slipped, fell and bump her head on the bowl. How stupid can my dogs get hahahaha but i still love the both of you, so much.

Yea i know

2010-02-20T12:25:00.003+08:00

Stop telling me i'm not Alevel material, i knew that ever since year 1 ended. But i don't wanna be someone who just gives up once they fail, that's not me. I want to prove to other people and most of all myself that i can still do it, that i'm not that girl who's just fated to lead a normal life of a stupid loser. I know myself, more than you know me. So quit telling me to give up even before i give my all, you haven't seen the best of me yet.

I want you so bad it's my only wish

2010-02-17T01:57:00.001+08:00

111005

2010-02-11T00:10:00.007+08:00

Adeline toh i love you lah. hahaha :>

I can't go any further than this

2010-02-07T17:12:00.003+08:00

You know when all of you were classmates, it's like there's this bond you feel you can never get rid of and you're never sick of seeing each other everyday. And then it's kinda a part of life where you just have to go on and stop being each other's classmates. And you feel sad but promise each other that you will meet up, and you will never ever forget each other.

I'm sure i met good people in B6, i'm sure we created a strong bond. I'm sure i promised myself never to ever forget them, and those times we had last year. All those people, esp hazelin fawnia shuuy wanny yikiat & jonathan. It's so sad because even i can't believe it, now when i see wanny and fawn.. it's as if last year didn't existed.. we weren't even hi-bye friends. And the rest, when was the last time we sat together and just crap the whole evening away? When was the last time i laughed at hazelin's lameness? When was the last time i took the bus with fawn and getting surprise at how we always think of the same things? When was the last time i even text shuuy and yikiat? When was the last time i hugged wanny? Even jonathan, the last person i ever think i will lose contact with.. why was i even sad that he has found his own friends that could be even better people than me?

And the promise 4 of us (me shuuy fawn and hazelin) made, that we said to meet at least once per month.. what about it?

I've already lost my secondary school friends once. And it took me a year to realize how stupid i was to think they didn't wanted me as a friend. It took me so long to know people like pam (who's excited even when i told her i'm cooking for her when she knows i can't cook for nuts) existed?

How many years will it take us again this time?

I think it's me.. some point of people's life they may want to be there for me, but they won't be around always. Not cos they are heartless but because they found people who's more worth it than me and soon they just realize what a bad friend i am. But i am happy for all of them, at least they've moved on and found better people.. not like me who's still dwelling on the past and blaming myself for everything that happened.

I will accept it, i will. I hope all of you forgive me for breaking the promises i made.. not because i don't want to but because i can't anymore.

I can't be greedy. How many pams will there be in the world? Other than her i don't think i can ever find another person who will forever think i'm a good friend to them. But then again i should be glad, at least there's this one person i know i can count on through thick and thin.. forever. Love you.

2010-01-30T16:52:00.004+08:00

I'm not a bitch just because i'm (kinda a successful case) hypocrite. Because you know what, you yourself is a hypocrite. Everyone else is. People who just like whoever they like and show their bigfuck attitude at people they dislike, those are people who haven't got passed their maturity level yet. If you're mature enough, you won't treat people like they never existed just because you don't like them, you will understand and put yourself in their shoes instead.

At least i'm trying my best to like everyone even when i don't get the same results back.

2010-01-25T21:54:00.006+08:00

Finally i'm here!!

My life is boring, it's all about school school school. I have mountains of homework, loads of deadlines to meet and tons of tests waiting this week. I have training on mon, wed, fri and sat(sat i dont go, mad fitness) and PE on tues and fri! The only day i don't run is thurs. Sometimes i feel like quitting touch so i'll have more time, everyone is so fast-paced i can't really catch up.

But i'm not giving up!

I'm determined to make year2 a busy yet splendid time for me here. I will enjoy studying, i will enjoy being busy rushing for deadlines everyday.

I will love everyone and treat them nicely!! I will cut down my gossiping(impossible). I will make time for old friends and try my best to go for every outings. I will be the best friend and best listener possible for the girls.

I will stop being a eating monster! I will start saving money and stop being a spendthrift(impossible). I will buy everything in my wishlist and i will be filial to my parents.

I will set targets for studies and work towards it. First i'll start by not copying tasha's poa work and stop failing poa tests. PAMMY TEACH ME!!! :'(

And i will cook!! I mean all the complicated recipes, i will make you go yumyum HAHAHA maybe i'll end up poisoning everyone.. so i'll say sorry in advance!

I WILL PROVE IT! I WILL.

Btw just two weeks of hectic school and i've lost weight!! wheeeeee~

I'm a handicap

2010-01-17T02:38:00.007+08:00

You know what, i'm just the most unlucky girl.

First, i didn't like my new class. I don't like how everyone's so unfamiliar to me, i don't like why hazelin is not here with me and i really hate how quiet i am. And i don't know why people change.. yknow those people who used to be close with you, isn't anymore. Plus wed's training suck. And that was an understatement.

hahaha but i like thursday, because things started to change and i was laughing and having fun the whole day. I'm starting to like my class. Plus after all these, the true friends whom i always thought was absent in my life were always there. Thank you trish and pam i loveeee the both of you so much hehehe.

But that doesn't change, i'm still the most unlucky person.

My toe started to swell and pus keep appearing. My sister had it before and she had a mini operation where her nails was removed. Sad thing is? BOTH my toe is having this problem (so much for 'all in this together')

Then on friday's training i fell knees down on the field and slipped while dumping the ball and almost did a half-split. Then i was (just) walking when i tripped on the fence webs and fell, and sprained my leg. So my uncle, who's a chinese doctor, did acupuncture on me and i had to drink a cup of medicine that tastes like omg-hell.

Oh and i have major cramps(even my butt) after all these crazy exercising. The cramps are so major and painful that i couldn't even differentiate them with my sprain.

Whatever i do now, especially when i sit down and stand up, is SO painful. Everything is basically slow motion for me. Sometimes when i walk i'll suddenly jerk backwards and i have to balance myself or else i'll fall, and i don't really walk... i slide/glide around the house. And i literally have to go to the toilet even when i don't wanna pee because when i eventually reach there, i'll feel like peeing.

So sad i have to take like 10mins to flip to the other side of the bed and 1 hour to bathe plus i can't have my blanket on my feets because my toe would hurt. All these are not all and not the worst because..

THIS MORNING MY MUM HAD TO HELP ME GET OUT OF MY BED AND MY DAD HAD TO HELP ME PICK UP MY CHIPS CRUMBS THAT I DROPPED ON THE FLOOR.

Hi i'm sylvia, i am a handicap. I glide around like i'm pregnant in a house that's not built for the handicaps. In just three letters i can sum up my life: FML.

2010-01-14T01:47:00.001+08:00

My life is about me realizing how fragile i actually am.

Ready for school?

2010-01-10T21:11:00.000+08:00

cos I am not :(

2010-01-07T01:19:00.003+08:00

I want red vans and DM boots. Now i need new school bag and pencil box and whatevernot. I think the only reason why i'm waiting for school next week is cause i'll have new things.. other than that, no i'm so not ready to study.

Anyway how's school for you? (oh i'm not interested to know, just trying to be polite)

2010-01-03T00:23:00.015+08:00

Overdue pictures.

My fat face for you hehehhe what's with the specs man seriously i also no idea why my sister buy that specs for. and i kinda want my long fringe back so grow hair grow :(

One day in genting is seriously not enough, the weather makes me wanna live there forever and cut myself away from all the sad things here. Omg seriously, i want travel pals so we can go there every holidays! Love love love the cold weather i wanna go back and leave everything here pls ^^v

p/s. yknow today (jan2) is 01022010, the date is the same forwards and backwards O.O

2009/2010

2010-01-01T22:37:00.005+08:00

I have a damaged brain, can't seem to remember much about 2009, except the fact that it took all my self-esteem and confidence away from me.

I went to a new school and got new friends, both good and bad. Drifted apart from all my old friends and got super close with classmates, but eventually feel detached again.

I hate the year ok, i don't even wanna talk about it. Sometimes i feel so jealous when people have a secret crush on somebody, at least they had someone in their heart. I held an empty one for the whole year, no one for me to love, no one to hurt me. I have no one, no one to talk to me when i'm sad, no one who needs me to comfort, no one to call me just coz they were bored.

But on the other hand, it's good. At least no one could make my heart break, no one could make me think of them all the time, and i won't have to pretend that i'm happy just for somebody. I can become a fat elephant for all i want, i can be self-centered, and i can just ignore everyone. It's just me, though lonely.. but it's enough.

2009 gave me chances to realise how it's like to be alone, to be empty, to be without anyone. But i've learnt how to accept it. So in 2010, i'm not going to wish for anything, and i'm not afraid of being alone, since i've already tasted the feeling of losing everyone i once had. So come what may, I shall led a happening and spontaneous life.

I'm a lonely bitch, with a hole in my chest like my heart isn't even there, but i could deal with it.

On christmas

2009-12-26T17:28:00.004+08:00

Christmas eve, i ate steamboat with my parents (L)

And on christmas i gossip like nobody's business.

On christmas my ipod got fixed.

On christmas my oldest sister celebrated meaningfully with the orphans in cambodia, and my second sister went overseas to enjoy with her friends.

On christmas all my friends had fun with people they love.

On christmas my dad brought my mum for a vernice buffet that cost $50+ per head.

On christmas i was, physically and emotionally, not alone.

On christmas i feel loved and i felt love.

On christmas my dad got himself an iphone.

On christmas i realise i have awesome friends.

As for me, i spent the day at trish's house with pam tiangy gwen and sylvia. We ate turkey, meatball, macaroni cheese and other awesome food that trish's mum cooked.

On christmas this year, i fell in love with christmas.

♥

2009-12-25T00:43:00.003+08:00

to those who loves me,
to those who hates me,
to those who's spending xmas eve alone,
to those who's single and wishing someone was there,

merry xmas! you are not alone <3

& merry xmas taylor lautner i love you ehehehhehe.

2009-12-22T19:46:00.002+08:00

I wish i'm still out there having fun eating and not able to contact anyone because now that i'm back, i'm surrounded with the same stupid things again. Same feeling of like i have no friends and everyone who's supposed to love me so damn much (ok lah not love me but at least be my friend and go out with me ok) is out there enjoying themselves without me.

WITHOUT ME.

Am i really that ugly or do i have some body odour that smells like rotten eggs? Are you guys so ashamed to be spotted with me out the streets? Or am i so fat that you can't sit with me in the bus or it's because i'm always late?

Yknow, it's easy. If you don't like how i look then pay the bills for my plastic surgery, if i smell that bad then buy me some deodorant, if i'm fat then uhm.. there's surely something to do about it. If you bu shuang i'm late then sorry i can't change that. But if you are not willing then just go away already.

Dangz, all of you are bringing my self-esteem down and i don't like that. Cut me some slack, love me or leave me. Be my friend and like me for who i am or you can just be with whoever you want so i can move on with my life.

Don't float around in my life if you don't like me, i don't need pity or any fake friends. If that's the case i'd rather be alone. kthxbye

Getaway

2009-12-18T01:46:00.019+08:00

Back to childhood days, i can't believe i was once so fascinated with this place. 90% of the stuffs there that used to amazed me seemed so common sense to me now lor. Hi my good o' friend! Cheers to 7 years of endless nonsense we did together. The ONLY girl that used to call me by my chinese name. Yucks~

Sun-tanning with trish.

Pammy's birthday (uh-oh i don't know when was it)

Town with jessica.

(rest of the pics all in my fb)

Dangz, now my small little weekend getaway! In a few hours time i shall leave singapore in a peaceful state of sleeping in the car. Heng i got no license so my dad won't ask me to drive.. pillows checked, ipod checked, jacket checked, potato chips checked, pink dolphin checked, loads of sweets check.. i really can't see why i would have a bad halfday drive.

Omg and my dogs are both separated with different temporary owners naow i am so sad! Although their barks irritate me so damn much but i still miss it! See you two love in a few days time, eat and sleep well please!

I'll miss you all! esp trish, pam, lis, tiang and joey! <3

i'm so bloody packed this week

2009-12-16T01:04:00.003+08:00

So this weekend i'm leaving singapore.

And then i happily had a nice plan this week to go out have fun + buy stuffs i need + pass the dogs to someone else + ET + a day at home to upload all the pictures to facebook and watch my shows, just oh so wonderfully nice with not even a second extra for me to laze around like a stupid pig.. then i realise we were leaving earlier instead! Which means my super perfect plan cannot work and i have a day short now.

FML i got time management problems.

ripped off

2009-12-12T19:26:00.003+08:00

Smile smile smile sylvia liew no matter what happens.. even when your world falls apart never give up on yourself and keep smiling. Nobody around you appreciates you but it doesn't matter. Don't let them stay in your life because it just doesn't do you any better. Pick up and courage and let them go, even if you're gonna end up alone. So what even if the whole world hates you, so what if there's no one for you.. They don't love you, but you gonna love yourself. Stop the tears and stop feeling like a failure. You hit rock bottom now but you're gonna bounce back up and stand up again.

Fight on don't give up :>

The past few months i cling onto everyone around me even when i know that they don't like my presence, yknow it's like time after time i wasn't inform of any gatherings that was planned but i still went despite knowing that i wasn't really welcomed.. just because i don't wanna end up a loner.. It's hurting me damn badly, and i think it's enough. I can't keep slashing myself on the same wound or else it will never heal. I'm gonna let everything and everyone go, i'm sick of it.

At the end i will be strong cos i have my family, and i have myself. That's all i'm asking for.

Favourite hobby in school

2009-12-09T15:00:00.004+08:00

We used to spam daidee everyday in school. Even when there's only a handful of us who knows how to play at first, even when other classes starting playing, even when the school notices and became so strict about it, even when some people in the class detest us for that, even when exams were nearing, even when one of the decks got confiscated by the library ~~bitch~~aunty(ahem), even when we look like full-time gamblers in action, even when we play after school under some block and got home so late we've got no time and energy for other things anymore.

Even when we think we need to stop, when we know we ought to.

And then of course, in the end only a handful of the class DIDN'T know how to play. It got so happening that the boys play after lunch and the loser have to throw all the bowls hahaha. And i really think we were cursed at the time, by people who hates that game, that we will flunk our exams badly.

Wow. What an experience, PRE-UNIVERSITY you call us. Woo.

We are only slightly ashamed

2009-12-06T21:54:00.003+08:00

3/12/2009
KFC> yk's house with john, jonathan and cs> pastamania> pool. I think it's nice of us to give him a card! So sad cos he couldn't talk and have to laugh silently okay well anyway get well soon! You owe me xlbs remember! plus stay strong :)

Today i went town and i think the whole singapore went there as well. wtf.

-

I hope someone knows how i feel about -dangz-!! You know it's damn ridiculous, the denials + the actions + when you ---- and you -----!! So many timessss! So fucking obvious! Stop pretending kay no one's gonna get angry (duh cos.. uh huh) WTF i wish i can just uncensor everything out but i can'ttttttt!! RAWHHHHHHHH

My mind is fucked up x4643642743. I have hidden troubles and sadness and i kept laughing at the smallest thing that happened and i don't answer people. Plus there's no one to bitch with me so i'm choked with bitchy stuffs and i'm going to die soon. Can someone hurry come and bitch with me so i won't feel so wtf on my own?! arggggggggh

*screams and run around*

I think i'm in my own world but it doesn't matter, i like it that way.

p/s i love taylor lautner

I'll be back so soon you won't have time to miss me

2009-12-02T13:33:00.002+08:00

27/11/2009
Went marina barrage along with the dogs, i should do this more because it's rare i see them so active and happy. It's a mad nice place when i go during the evening cos i rly dislike the sun and i have no idea why, maybe perhaps nightlife there is nicer and more pleasant? You honestly won't believe i had my book with me and i enjoy looking at the kites fly, teeheee times ten <3

28/11/2009
Went to pammy's house! with jy and zy. I swear it's the nicest thing that happened in the holidays, spending time with people you don't really care how they will think of you. I love chatting/gossiping with pam cos, it just feels nice.. old friends, yay. After that had dinner with them plus zx, qs, kelvin and mel. It's been quite awhile since i laughed THAT much(with stupid mel it always happens) but i still prefer the time spent @ pam's. Oh, i actually read book in her house. *proud*

I can't remember anything after that already cos i fell sick and had to cancel any plans (i was supposed to be in the cinema watching new moon now *sad)

Happy birthday rachel! I guess my kinda-long text is mushy enough already. Love! <3

Till then i love all of you and i just lied.

Old photos

2009-11-27T22:45:00.014+08:00

And uploading them (100+ of them) on fb is killing me, i shall try again next time.

Sometime ago during hari raya when we had a celebration in school and all the malay friends brought food. Anyway it's late but i didn't think you will not want it.

Crazy girl #1 i missed.

The best two people in class for me, always.

My favourite food of all.

Crazy girl #2 i missed.

My ex-husband (LEFT LAH) and hao peng yew, we broke up cos they're together. Hiak.

My best strategy, wait for everyone to be done and the leftovers shall be mine. I still remember everyone was feeling so ridiculous about my actions and snap pics of me here and there.

Crap, probably even worse than me but i like.

Sparkling 12 you call us. All because we were caught in the act by the OM and he(or someone else in the GO) called us that. Ok anyway it was still fun, i remember.

-

1) I am excited about new moon (wednesday)
2) I look forward to seeing pammy + apt tmw
3) Today i went marina barrage.

Bye! :)

2009-11-27T00:17:00.003+08:00

whoo hoo! times ten.
& if you disagree, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

k sorry, i reallyyyy meant it *smiles brightly*

oh and I can’t keep my eyes on the road

2009-11-23T23:00:00.002+08:00

Nope. Not my new dog, two is enough trouble. Anyway this is why i'm so busy last week, taking care of J's dog while he's away in korea. Now i shall officially bid goodbye to wanting a third dog because they cannot coexist peacefully.. And although she does her business everywhere (she probably did not know where the newspapaer was), maggie (i always call her margee which i prefer more) was like effing cute and she got 80% of my attention most of the time.

Oh she was in sunday times last week, awesome much?

You're now back at your own home which i think might be better for you and tonight i'm gonna sleep without your weird snores and not hearing myself whine whenever you step on my body to get to the other side. Aww i will miss them.

And i will miss you baby girl! hahha weird emotions.

p/s i shall become a awesome active blogger, motivation times ten.

I want to be skinny

2009-11-20T00:36:00.003+08:00

You shall be my motivation.
Go away fats, i wanna be skinnnnnnnny :)

I'm going to meet you now

2009-11-11T13:49:00.007+08:00

Watched Jennifer's body with mad woman. I ordered another cup of extra ice for me to chew and we secretly went to sit on the couple sofa.. hiak. These few days have been nothing but watching thriller/scary stuffs, i'm traumatised by pretty girls and teenage boys.

Going home alone is scary, i wish you were here.

2009-11-08T23:45:00.004+08:00

I hate it when some people tries to tell me(or correct me) things about people I know first and is closer to. It's damn retarded? What makes you think that i don't know things that you know about her and what makes you think you know things that i know about her? Ok complicated but whatever. Just because you know her and are kinda close to her doesn't mean there are no other people who are even closer to her. Fuckkkkkk you kay, like whatever.. go and die.

Anyway i ate beef chilli cheese fries today! Super awesome + sinful but it feels like eating xlb lor! hahaha oh and i had a damn entertaining + embarrassing encounter @ the bra shop with M and the shopkeeper.. i don't even dare to say it here hahahha.

p/s 周定緯 and kim bum are my lovers.. hiak!
p/p/s I WILL GO JOGGING EVERY MORNING FOR THIS WEEK I SWEAR! 45KG!

ok byeeeee! lovez

Last day of school

2009-11-07T18:06:00.008+08:00

I gg-ed yesterday.

Because i couldn't wake up for school and missed all classes but i still prepared and go even when school is ending because i wanted to go for training.. then i was informed that training was cancelled, and i got punkeddddd.. HAHAHA

(i actually typed a damn long emotional message about my classmates but suddenly i accidentally did something and.. ya i'm lazy to type it all out again so if you saw it good for you!)

Meanwhile..

Jealousy is the worse feeling a person can have but i can't help asking, jealous much? haha i'm starting to love my school, cos the holidays are longer then other schools and you know, OWNAGE! hahaha.

Can't wait to see the loverbabiessss <3

This is it

2009-11-02T23:00:00.003+08:00

You know it's something like watching someone who inspired you so much. It's looking at the scenes of this person doing something he loves with his passion and everything he has.. It's like this man has never left, and it feels like he never would.

And all you feel is so overwhelming and emotional that you just cannot put the feelings into words, you don't know how to express and let others understand what's so.. ugh. Nevermind i shall keep all this emotions to myself and perhaps he'll understand.

He's like ___? I can't even find any word to describe.

(ok enough of the sentimental shit before i drown myself in sadness and die)

++ i ate chocolate and peanut butter dognut today, super sinful. And my MT paper, i think i wrote out of point.. omg. ming jian yo.

K BYE. i wanna watch meatball & go shopping

Extraordinary

2009-10-31T17:57:00.004+08:00

Phew. I'm back!
From i don't know where, in fact i didn't do anything special. Just that i've been reaching home like 10 plus and sleeping right after bathing so i didn't touch the keyboard.. AT ALL.

So.. to sum it up, the week's all about tears and laughter.

From getting our results and wonderfully getting shocked that i passed my accounting, knowing our promotional status to skipping so many lessons although i know it's damn important to attend but who cares! I needa spend quality time with my friends before they leave next year :'(

OH monday! The so called last class gathering but i don't believe will be so. So we went seoul garden @ tamp and i ended up feeling sinful :( Then we spam arcade like a bunch of small kids hehehe and i didn't know air hockey + parapara can be so fun, i mean only when each of us is in charge of one arrow HAHA oh then we ended the day with watching Sister's keeper.. what a cryfest.. i feel stupid paying to cry.

I have MT alevel paper on monday.. argh screw me.

Next year gonna be like shiat, PW will make it worse.

2009-10-24T08:43:00.004+08:00

"You stop talking to your friends, and they get worried and try comforting you, but they just make you feel worse because they think they know, but they don’t have a damn clue."

2009-10-22T21:15:00.004+08:00

Really.

I don't know

2009-10-19T18:29:00.003+08:00

I don't understand what are you trying to do, and why you did that. I tried very hard to put the blame on you and accept that shit happens to everyone.. but this is not the first time, and you are not the first one.

It's so depressing it makes me lose my confidence.

BYE y'all maybe one day i'll understand.. but just, not now.

super belated but still!

2009-10-13T13:57:00.004+08:00

Ya know my computer is constantly being recovered so i really don't have any past photos of us and it took me quite awhile to find this and i look damn ugly but you know i know it doesn't really matter since you've seen quite a fair share of the ugly me teehehehe.

Gonna leave you the longest message cos i know you've been disappointed with me for forgetting your birthday and being damn irritating these few days but you know it's cos of this bloody painful pimple on my forehead HAHAHA ok excuse.

Anyway thank you for everything kkk, for lending me a shoulder, for being there, for making me laugh, for bickering with me, for remembering me although it's been so long since we last met and blah. I'm sorry for not being there to celebrate your birthday but i'm sure we will have many chance in the years to come. Don't revenge by forgetting my birthday eh! 3rd march hor.

Oh and i miss punching you and talking to you for hours under my house ('',) Thank you for constantly reminding me that i have you for me to fall back on whenever i need someone and hor! Got new friends don't forget me eh, i prettier k. HAHAHA

Next time when we meet up you shall buy me chocolate and rainbow rice stick k! teehehe X

-

Need to exercise.. 45kg 45kg! xo.

4th

2009-10-12T19:59:00.005+08:00

Happy 4th! :)

It's actually more than 4 years cos we've known each other for 6 years + i think? Part of the reason why i miss secondary school is cos i could still see you and attend cca together.. :( anyway no matter what you're doing, stay happy & pretty! <3

p/s i never forget our date hor hor hor teehehehhe

-

Hi it's been long. Exams are over and i'm damn sad, proper post soon! :)

2009-10-03T17:33:00.003+08:00

Done with GP and MT(screwed) paper.

Next week is warrrrr, a peaceful war. Shall treat it with grace and happiness, way to go me, i know i can do it. You know, i've had my share of breaking down and crying hard so i'm very much enlighten and will see the whole situation in a calmer way.

I'm terribly sickkkkk.. but i'm not alone! hahahh hi @ john, jess, trish & mabel, take care!

oh I love my weight minus 5kg
So after exams i shall run/skip/jump/swim and do whatever i can to make myself 45kg again, so meanwhile enjoy while i'm still a fatty bom bom! teeheheheheh :)

Seeeeeee ya'll a week after! <3

I love my bed

2009-09-28T22:25:00.003+08:00

The weekends was crazy but good.

I went out on saturday night and came home on sunday night. Failed overnight study with haha and hoho > queensway > tamp. And yay i survived with no sleep(ok maybe abit here and there) and only dinner(xlb! good food good food).

I'm feeling the after effects. Today was like a lethargic day, i see myself falling asleep for like 24343242674 times :( Can't be bothered with any tests/homeworks alr.

Feel like seeing the girls and pour everything out to them, i'm so unhappy! :@

Mundane

2009-09-25T00:11:00.004+08:00

This is my life.. it goes round and round like a vicious cycle.

-

I am taking a break from math. I have assignments 7C 7D 8A to complete and i think i'm superwoman because i did 7C and 7D non-stop ever since just now while talking on msn. What a great deal for someone like me who can't multi-task.. omg.

Love love love the new geog teacher. His jokes are incredibly lame but i can't help laughing and it's impossible not to pay attention. And he called me Ms. 04263314 HAHAHA omg. So crap but i manage to absorb everything he teach.. (Y)

Okieee need to start on my geog assignment already. Baiixx babies i love you.

Magic boy

2009-09-23T23:50:00.000+08:00

HAHA this picture damn funny.

Happy birthday! :)
Thank you for teaching me all the magic and making people feel amazed with me + entertaining me when i'm bored + asking me to study + making me laugh @ the wrong time + doing stupid things in class + making me the happiest kid on earth and go OMGOMG that day +++

Although you scold me lame everytime i do something stupid but i know your life has been splendid with me around, hahaha omg and xiao peng yew don't kai wan xiu already ok! Same old words, last long with.. ok bye.

-

Today is a happening day. My class had a mini hari raya celebration with all the cookies + kueh that all the malay peeps brought. Then after that we hahaha and we got hohohoh but in the end it was a happy ending. I'm so lazy to upload all the photooooos, teehehehehhe.

Oh i had tomyum mee for dinner! Happy kidxx me :)

x

Birthday wishes

2009-09-21T14:18:00.004+08:00

You're like the big brother giving me good advices along the way ever since i know you in R3. Although most of the time you do nonsense in class but i still love crapping and playing with you hahahha. Thank you for all the comforting texts when i'm sad and i hope that during times when you needed someone, i was there for you just like how you were for me.

I hope you enjoy the surprise all of us did and Happy Birthday! :)

2009-09-17T00:03:00.003+08:00

"People can always have a judgement about anything you do. So it doesn’t bother me. Everything can be strange to someone" - Michael Jackson

Totally.

Stormxx

2009-09-10T17:15:00.011+08:00

Thank you xxx for the wakeup call. Although you called me, gave me a scolding and made me cry but i think i won't be able to let it go and move on if you didn't do that. Shall get everything back on track naox and call you to cry whenever i feel like it hahaha!

Sup. I've had my first official boring holiday. Been staying home ever since tuesday so it's kind of like a compensation for reaching home so late during school days. And school is starting.. screw me for not touching my books at all. I dread the thought of it. I don't miss a single thing about school, maybe meeting some of my schoolmates but xxxx it turns me off when i think i'll have to led that kinda life again.. booooo :/

And my baby pp is injured :( I won't explain it any further or blog any pictures of it because i'm quite sure it'll turn you off hahaha.

My life is becoming so private, i like it *winksxx

p/s Happy belated pammy and cs! :)
uhm ok i will blog about their birthday and all the failed surprises.. omg i'm a failure :'(
p/s/s My locked journal > http://nutzpie.livejournal.com

xo

One week of

2009-09-09T02:41:00.000+08:00

my favourite time of the year teeheehehe :)

Monday

2009-09-02T17:34:00.001+08:00

I look retarded! oh well :/

School celebration bored me some way or another but i enjoy spending time doing our own mini thang in the class with my teachers + all the classmates who sang/dance/do magic trick for us. Our class won the superhero contest hahahah totally unexpected.

Went town after that with hehe haha and hohoho. Ate pastamania for lunch! Good food makes me drool. Walked around town seeing the same group of schoolmates everywhere we go, damn gay ok. Oh and we caught bandslam! Had popcorn war with stupid woman.

Feeeel damn bad for not going back wsss to see my friends, but i didn't wanted to go because you know! hahaha secret. Anyway i miss them alot esp the teachers and those i always go mad with in class +++! We will meet soon, i guess?

OK BYE HAHA im so random

I'm blessed

2009-09-01T16:16:00.004+08:00

In the past years we've done so many things together and i'm glad you were there as a part of my life. You've been the best role model i can ever have and i wouldn't be what i am today if you weren't there.

Thank you for everything; for being the bestfriend i can share everything with, for being the person i can find advices with, for being my teacher and most importantly, you were the best sister for me.

and ADmit it woman, you ARE 22 now ^^

Happy birthday! ♥

Dear me,

2009-08-30T20:08:00.003+08:00

You never liked to pretend, but sometimes you have to swallow it all down and accept it. Not everyone will do things you like, but you can't blame them. Try, try to love them. If you can't, try even harder.

You have to accept that nobody stays with your forever. No matter how significant they were to you, one day they will leave. And when they do, don't drown in sadness. Let them be your motivation, let them be the energy for you to move on and be stronger.

Believe in yourself, don't let obstacles stop you. Let them be the little stones you take to create a new pathway for yourself, prove to no one but yourself that you can make it, that you can be someone your parents will be proud of.

Don't let anyone stop you, or make you feel useless. If they are supposed be there, they will. If they are not, they never was. Don't let them be the reason for your tears, for there will always be someone who truly deserves them.

Cherish the people who told you they are always behind you, and you have to believe in them. They won't be there always but you know for now, they are just a call away.

And some people, they don't matter. If they don't appreciate you, someone else would. Treat everyone with kindness even though you think they don't deserve it. Be strong, be independent, be the one people can count on and be true to yourself.

Make every effort to stay happy. And each time you are, you'll truly be.

Happening week

2009-08-29T18:34:00.002+08:00

Hi i'm back with sucky blogger again

I had a nice weeeeek, school got better.

PE was mad crazy again! Learn some new crazy dance and did chicken dance again. My class is super entu because we got up stage and danced ahhaha siao! Ok anyway i finally improved my poa! My teacher was satisfied with my results for the first time, hahaha.

Met up with pam, zx, jy and mel caught The Proposal which was damn funny i swear. Slacked at railmall till the wee hours. It's beeeeen like so long since i see them and it feels good because i could say whatever i like and laugh however i want. Irritated them with my 'good leh' and all the lame jokes hahaha! But mel is still the funniest because you can literally laugh just by looking at his face.

Happy Birthday Michael Jackson, wherever you are. It's not just today but i've been spending my days listening to just your songs, listening to your news, appreciating your lyrics and having the heart to find the chance and heal the world, just like how you wanted us to. I hope you'll find peace and happiness and i love you from the bottom of my heart.

xoxo

Tuesday's still blue

2009-08-26T00:26:00.000+08:00

Hi sup yo whatsssup

Today's PE is like the best ok? We do the chicken dance hahaha! Each class have to like create their own dance and i swear my class has weird and mad ideas THEN THEN OMG WE GO TUG IN OUR SHIRT AND DANCE ALL THE MRBEAN THING THEN AT THE END WE ALL SCREAM AND RAN AROUND JASVEER (THE MRBEAN LOOKALIKE) THEN SUDDENLY EVERYONE SIT DOWN AND HE STARTED DANCING ON HIS OWN HAHAH

Oh but when i skipped around hazelin and diana say i look like someone from the mental hospital! wth :'(

So today i'm supposed to meet crappppppppppy but you know stupid stuff happen and yada yada but don't worry darling we will meet up one ok! hahaha oh and tomorrow am meeting haha and hehee and hoho omg so fun.

Blog is zzz w/o pictures, assss the blogger k bye

Monday blues

2009-08-24T23:00:00.004+08:00

Another boring usual day, except that i found my long lost sister named cynthia and a new neighbour called wenxi (she cleans my toilet also hahaha) Oh and the school council is stupid, why are people inside there all so busy? Then snatch shawn away from me AHAHAH wtf! He has to go school with me every morning one ok! @.@

Anyway i think MI people are rare, it's like if you are in other school it's not easy to have friends studying there. So are you glad you know me friends? ^.^ OK NONSENSE HAHA DON'T CARE GO AND DIE.

5 more days, i should feel happy not sad.

k bye

Today

2009-08-23T23:04:00.000+08:00

was funny ^.^ I ate ban mian + shaker fries + mcwings hehe.

Being with good ol' friends is still the best. Bitch about everything- K got nice hot 6pack body but the face like kns (HAHA) and RAF and nini and dog slut. They keep listening to big bang the whole day i cannot understand but i don't care.

Anyway all the best for your exams babies and we'll meet up again dear pammy before you leave for macau :'(

Realised i've been very stupid, putting all my attention on dumb things. I'm so happy i've let it all down and you know! Just go eat shit and die man, who gives a damn anyway. I have better things to do, better people to hang out with.

The thought of school irks me but i'm a happy kid still.

love you all! (not exactly)
xoxo

Blogger sucks

2009-08-22T21:31:00.001+08:00

I cannot upload pictures again oh wtf.

Ok anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY my darling peishi! Hehehe I hope you enjoy your day and sorry for not doing anything giving that you always prepare a surprise during all our birthdays for the past months. Thank you for always being there for me and making school days nicer and more beautiful! I love you forever xoxo

I'm a happy kid (for now) because its the weekends and i don't have to see you and get tortured with your actions. Oh and i'm seeing trish and pammy tomorrow hehehe so fun, i miss the rest too- lisa joey & tiangy! Good ol' times.

School sucks, although i got myself a gangster head aka high tea mate (HAHA) and found yet another group of people to bitch with in class! WTF ok bye.

Truth

2009-08-17T01:09:00.005+08:00

The person you see here is only a small part of who i really am.

2009-08-16T00:55:00.001+08:00

Jed says (12:54am):
ah. the sylvia tradition. always online at this time.

Really? Wah good leh, got my tradition, wo xi huan.
lol, ok bye.

TGIF

2009-08-15T00:16:00.002+08:00

Today was initially good but after i heard about xxx i got damn depressed, and then another thing made it even worse. But anyway i was okay after that because i saw pammy @ westmall! :) Saw her long time no see smile and all the bad things seem to go away from my mind. Wah she good leh, wo xi huan.

Oh and i watched xia dao xiao yesterday so my class is like spamming hokkien now. ok bye

2009-08-12T23:46:00.001+08:00

People who always say,
"I'll be here whenever you need me"
is bullcrap.
Fuck yourself.

Sigh

2009-08-11T23:36:00.004+08:00

Sometimes in class i don't feel my presence. It's like i have this feeling that if i just walk away, no one is gonna notice it. Maybe there were too many of us or i'm not significant enough. Maybe there was somebody else who's worth more the attention. It feels so different because in the past people will notice me perhaps because i'm funny/loud/crazy. Now, everyone are all in their own clusters, without me. I'm like just a nobody that follows them around.

I don't know, sometimes i feel i shouldn't be there.

Gone one night

2009-08-11T01:08:00.004+08:00

School tomorrow, major turn-off.

The long weekend is wasted, i keep scolding fuck nowadays. I hate my life, it's like nothing is going right. I can't wait to meet my long time no see friends, i've been missing out all the outings. And boo, i don't like you. Stop giving me hopes and then taking them away.

2009-08-10T00:54:00.001+08:00

"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep… wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you…. The one who turns to his friends and says, ‘that’s her."

2009-08-09T21:34:00.003+08:00

Blogger is working! yayz

Anyway the school system sucks, i was late on friday because the bus was late (and i didn't lie, it was really late) and then they refuse to accept this reason and i'm likely to get my 1-week home suspension. Fuck them all. They make my life so miserable and make me feel like giving up on everything. So much for telling us you want us to score, when you are the ones hindering us. _|_

Only very good conduct people can be in the council, and would be choosen to go overseas and etc etc, good people just get all the advantages. Even the Napfa system, people who are like severly overweight will be excused for the napfa.. What is really dumb is you teachers are the one who scold "fuck off".. AT US, students.

Tell you what, fuck youselves all instead.

Anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE! I still love you even though you didn't succeed in making every teacher to be NOT chapalang! hahaha.

2009-08-08T23:01:00.001+08:00

Life sucks so badly.

2009-08-07T00:45:00.003+08:00

SUP.

Tomorrow is Be yourself dayz! The theme is retro which was damn stupid because we were inform like two days before only. But anywayz i'm still very sexcited because i love the feeling of seeing schoolmates in home clothes.. which i don't usually get to see.

So yea, fuck the school uniform, fuck the books, fuck the studies. Imma gonna forget everything bad and enjoy like fuck tomorrow.

\m/

2009-08-02T21:45:00.002+08:00

I MISS ALOT OF PEOPLE :'(
too many to name them out.

If you miss me too plz comment ok? :)

2009-08-01T23:41:00.000+08:00

"Often people attempt to live their lives backwards. They try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want."

I'm always saying i want to do this and that but i've never started doing. I kept thinking that i was still young and i didn't had the ability. But think again, i'm already 17 and still stuck in this vicious cycle of wanting more and not giving.

I'm sick of doing the same thing everyday. Going to school, copying homework, playing and waiting for someone to inspire me.. you know it's just like living just for the sake of living.

So, i thought one of the wisest things i did in the new institute that i'm barely in for 6 months was signing up as an xxx. It's really time for a change, time to do something different.

If i can't find an inspiration, i will have to do the job myself.